I spent a few years wishing both of you were older at Christmas time. Looking back I see now that that was the single most silly thing I could have wished for because now that I have my wish I want to take it back!!! I wished you both were old enough to be crazy excited for Santa to come, old enough to absorb some of our Christmas traditions, old enough to really participate in all that is Christmas at this house.
I got my wish but what I din't count on was all the side effects of my wish. For example, a neighbor reported the following statement from her son the other day...
"Ben and Jack are getting rocks for Christmas because they don't believe in Santa"
"WHAT" I asked? How could this be. However it is true, my Benny boy at 7 years old (soon to be eight) heard the nasty rumors on the playground. You know the ones that go around every year around this time and then again at Easter. The only thing is that this year he has given them some consideration.
I spoke with him and asked him if he believed and he looked at me and asked in a most serious tone, one that made me feel he really needed the truth and he trusted me to give it to him,
"Well Mom, is there a Santa"
It was an awful moment because generally I try to be quite honest with my boys and if the question had been about anything else in the world I would have told him the truth.
I didn't though. I lied. I lied so he could have one more year of magic. So I could have one more year of magic. I had no idea this might very well be the last year both of my boys believe. I know that Christmas will still be super fun even if they don't believe but I just wasn't ready for it to be over.
So I have vowed this year will be Christmas overload!!!!
And so this week-end we indulged in some gingerbread cookie ornament decorating. Oddly enough it really didn't go to plan. I blew up the mixer before the frosting really got mixed which resulted in thick lumpy glue that the boys had a hard time piping onto the cookies. Then after we hung the cookies on the tree they kept breaking on falling off the tree. Blamed this on our little dog for the longest time until I realized what was happening because it has never happened before.
Despite these little setbacks the boys had fun and I had fun doing it with them. You know one day they will be teenagers and likely not so excited to decorate gingerbread so until that day comes I am going to absorb these moments, commit them to memory and take them with me into tomorrow and all the other days to come.